Scurrying

My husband read to me last night from Dallas Willard's The Great Omission. This paragraph exposed my endless chase of that phantom day as the sin it is:

Many well-meaning people ... cannot succeed in being kind because they are too rushed to get things done. Haste has worry, fear, and anger as close associates; it is a deadly enemy of kindness ... we might prayerfully meditate to see clearly the damage done by our unkindness, and honestly compare it to what, if anything, is really gained by our hurry. We will come to understand that for the most part our hurry is really based upon pride, self-importance, fear, and lack of faith, and rarely upon the production of anything of true value for anyone.

Productive. That's what I'm always striving - or at the very least, wishing - to be. Even when I'm wasting time, I like to waste it doing something. When I crawl into bed, I like to be able to reflect on the day and say, "Well, at least I accomplished this and that."

Maybe that's why I grimace inside when somebody brings up the story of Mary and Martha. After all, Martha was trying really hard to get some important things done. Doesn't she get any credit for that?

Well, no. And neither do I get credit for my anxious scurrying. In an article on Mary and Martha, Jon Bloom confesses his own hurrying:

... what is exposed is a belief that if I don’t do ____, others will think I’m ____. Maybe they’ll think I’m disorganized or messy or lazy ... It is self-exultation masquerading as diligent, competent, productive service ... I’m anxious and troubled because to be admirable requires getting more done than I can possibly do. And doing more than Jesus requires. So I scurry around and, in the process, often neglect the most important things.

The most important things. In this season of my life, many items on the daily to-do list are important. Colossians 3:23 reminds me that it's good to work hard at whatever I do. But the work is a means, not an end. And the end is not a sense of personal accomplishment or self-worth, but a genuine delight in my Savior.

Sometimes I wonder if Martha ever got it. Did she repent and choose what was best? Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get it. Will I repent and choose what is best?

To be continued ...